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Submitted on
June 7, 2010
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I'm tired of writing about you and i'm sure you would be too. I've gotten so pathetic that at night before i go to bed, i try and make sure you're the last thing on my mind and the last words that slip from my mouth are your full name. This way, maybe i'll get lucky and you'll come into my dreams again. If the only place i can have you is in my dreams, i guess that's better than nothing right?

------

This morning when i woke up, i laid in bed for another 2 hours before finally getting up. I didn't even realize i had been laying there that long in silence and without movement. My lungs hurt and my stomach was flipped upside down and i wanted to go back to sleep, but you wouldn't let me.

------

My toes are black and blue and my face is pale because it's so damn cold without you and the sun never shines anymore. The weatherman said the forecast today wasn't for the heavy hearted and there was a good chance of faulty promises and half-truths. We used to hide under the covers when there was bad weather, but maybe now I should go buy an umbrella.

------

Now look what you've made me do, I said I didn't want to write about you. The only thing you ever taught me is you can't always get what you want, and even when you think you have it, you really don't. I wonder if you ever think about me anymore or anything reminds you of me, like the way my cheeks became flushed when you kissed me or how I named a star after you. Sometimes I ask that star to bring you back to me but then I remember stars can't hear and even if your star could hear me, it wouldn't care anyways.

------

Times have changed and so have we and I've come to the conclusion we just weren't meant to be. Once, I thought we were never even meant to begin. I used to think I had jumped through a loophole and had out ran my fate. I never deserved you and you weren't supposed to be in the original script and fate eventually caught up with me. OR maybe I'm just insane and out of my mind and I need to stop lying to myself. But I'm not just lying to myself because you lied to me when you said you loved green eyes with a just a hint of blue and the way my smile was crooked and how I tripped over myself. But, brown is your favorite color and my smile is flawed and who can love a klutz so don't try and act all innocent like you had nothing to do with my fallout. You taught me it's easy to fall in love, but in your case I guess it's even easier to fall out.
i had something way better than this typed out, but when i tried to post it on my tumblr it didn't work and erased everything i had written. so the first half is completely true from memory (glad i have a somewhat photographic memory) but the rest is as best as i can remember and most of it is added on to what i originally had.

i know this still isn't good but im getting closer. i would like feedback on flow and concept and originality. i think i used some metaphors that are prety good and i havent used before.

these words are my heart. this is me being real.

p.s. sometimes i forget to breathe because i used to only do it for you.
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:iconagnieszkaa:
agnieszkaa Featured By Owner Aug 29, 2010  Student Digital Artist
touching. it feels like it's about my story... :O_o:
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:iconksmsoccer89:
ksmsoccer89 Featured By Owner Aug 29, 2010
thanks very much :D
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:icondamagedhomewrecker:
DamagedHomewrecker Featured By Owner Jun 20, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
But I'm not just lying to myself because you lied to me when you said you loved green eyes with a just a hint of blue and the way my smile was crooked and how I tripped over myself. But, brown is your favorite color and my smile is flawed and who can love a klutz so don't try and act all innocent like you had nothing to do with my fallout. You taught me it's easy to fall in love, but in your case I guess it's even easier to fall ou

i love love love love love love that part. i know it all too well =/ im blue eyed, crooked smile, and a klutz ;] its as if you wrote my life out in that part. haha
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:iconksmsoccer89:
ksmsoccer89 Featured By Owner Jun 20, 2010
i know it too well also. this one is based on my life. in a very to the last drop sort of way.
im green eyed with a hint of blue and have a crooked smile and im a huge klutz. we have so much in common already lol.
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:icondamagedhomewrecker:
DamagedHomewrecker Featured By Owner Jun 21, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
are you a bitter hopeless romantic with your heart on your sleeve for the daws to peck at, just like i am? haha =D
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:iconksmsoccer89:
ksmsoccer89 Featured By Owner Jun 21, 2010
no comment lol.
which obviously means yes i am lol
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:icondamagedhomewrecker:
DamagedHomewrecker Featured By Owner Jun 21, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
i'd plead the fifth as well...but the bloody scrap i call my heart thats hanging on my sleeve would be to obvious to lie about hahah
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:iconksmsoccer89:
ksmsoccer89 Featured By Owner Jun 21, 2010
hahaha yeah its hard to hide something like that. not even long sleeves work. people can still see its faint beating underneath :P
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:icondamagedhomewrecker:
DamagedHomewrecker Featured By Owner Jun 21, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
haha youre cool =]
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:iconksmsoccer89:
ksmsoccer89 Featured By Owner Jun 21, 2010
haha what makes you say that?
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