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©2009 ~ksmsoccer89
:iconksmsoccer89:

Author's Comments

a haiku maybe? very raw and prolly not even correct lol.

Theme is lust. :iconmahi-fish: was able to understand the story being told. i hope you all can as well. but just in case its about an adulteress (someone used and full of lust) who sleeps around and is percieved as everyone as a whore. that which she really is. she has no self-respect therefore due to her actions.

lust is a tricky thing to deal with.

let me know what you think :D

Comments


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:iconmahi-fish:
Cross posted so you'll have comments here:

The subject of the poem seems to be an adulteress who is sleeping around so much that she has the reputation of a "whore". That was what my reading gave me. If that is your intent, then I think it is well done indeed.


Very good for your first attempt. If you are hoping to enter it in the contest, take a look at the rules that are in my artist comment on the poem I posted initially.

--
"I don't feel that I need to explain my art to you, Warren."
-A.J. Empire Records
:iconksmsoccer89:
im considering entering it into the contest. ill go check out the rules for more detail :]

--
I am a lost soul desperately trying to find his way in this world of twists and turns.

Have faith. Keep hope. Dream big.
:iconmahi-fish:
It's common in this style of poem to remove the initial sentence capitalization and the final sentence punctuation. Not absolutely vital, but many haiku poets feel they distract from the message and close off hanging possibilities.

With that said, I occasionally use both though.

--
"I don't feel that I need to explain my art to you, Warren."
-A.J. Empire Records
:iconmahi-fish:
Nothing to lose my friend.

--
"I don't feel that I need to explain my art to you, Warren."
-A.J. Empire Records
:iconcharrlie:
Hey! Cool that you were also inspired to write a Haiku.
I like it, it has a good rhythm and an interesting message.

--
I am creating my own style of stupidity. You are welcome to emulate it.
:iconksmsoccer89:
ah well ok then. thanks for telling me that. i have so much to learn about haikus lol.
back to the editing board.

thanks again :)

--
I am a lost soul desperately trying to find his way in this world of twists and turns.

Have faith. Keep hope. Dream big.
:iconksmsoccer89:
yes i certainly was. by the same person as you haha.
thanks much.
i was just about to go back and read yours! :]

--
I am a lost soul desperately trying to find his way in this world of twists and turns.

Have faith. Keep hope. Dream big.
:iconcharrlie:
^^

--
I am creating my own style of stupidity. You are welcome to emulate it.
:iconmahi-fish:
It's really just details. But when you have nine words to work with, details matter more than in something that's twenty lines. :)

--
"I don't feel that I need to explain my art to you, Warren."
-A.J. Empire Records

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July 15
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