a haiku maybe? very raw and prolly not even correct lol.
Theme is lust. was able to understand the story being told. i hope you all can as well. but just in case its about an adulteress (someone used and full of lust) who sleeps around and is percieved as everyone as a whore. that which she really is. she has no self-respect therefore due to her actions.
The subject of the poem seems to be an adulteress who is sleeping around so much that she has the reputation of a "whore". That was what my reading gave me. If that is your intent, then I think it is well done indeed.
Very good for your first attempt. If you are hoping to enter it in the contest, take a look at the rules that are in my artist comment on the poem I posted initially.
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"I don't feel that I need to explain my art to you, Warren." -A.J. Empire Records
It's common in this style of poem to remove the initial sentence capitalization and the final sentence punctuation. Not absolutely vital, but many haiku poets feel they distract from the message and close off hanging possibilities.
With that said, I occasionally use both though.
--
"I don't feel that I need to explain my art to you, Warren." -A.J. Empire Records
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Comments
The subject of the poem seems to be an adulteress who is sleeping around so much that she has the reputation of a "whore". That was what my reading gave me. If that is your intent, then I think it is well done indeed.
Very good for your first attempt. If you are hoping to enter it in the contest, take a look at the rules that are in my artist comment on the poem I posted initially.
--
"I don't feel that I need to explain my art to you, Warren."
-A.J. Empire Records
--
I am a lost soul desperately trying to find his way in this world of twists and turns.
Have faith. Keep hope. Dream big.
With that said, I occasionally use both though.
--
"I don't feel that I need to explain my art to you, Warren."
-A.J. Empire Records
--
"I don't feel that I need to explain my art to you, Warren."
-A.J. Empire Records
I like it, it has a good rhythm and an interesting message.
--
I am creating my own style of stupidity. You are welcome to emulate it.
back to the editing board.
thanks again
--
I am a lost soul desperately trying to find his way in this world of twists and turns.
Have faith. Keep hope. Dream big.
thanks much.
i was just about to go back and read yours! :]
--
I am a lost soul desperately trying to find his way in this world of twists and turns.
Have faith. Keep hope. Dream big.
--
I am creating my own style of stupidity. You are welcome to emulate it.
--
"I don't feel that I need to explain my art to you, Warren."
-A.J. Empire Records
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